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i can't keep my eyes off of you... - crash into me...

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July 3rd, 2005


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01:18 am - i can't keep my eyes off of you...

i can't keep my eyes off of you...

i haven't updated in a long time. thats ok though. the past two days have been crazy. i was at work talking to j.t. and seth and of course i had to ask them. i was relieved when they told me. i didn't know if i was ready to feel everything again. then...i saw him. i couldn't stop myself from crying. just feeling everything. wanting to say so much...but knowing i couldn't, and if i did, it wouldn't make a difference. i'm ok though. it was good to see him. it was good to see him happy. that's all i could ever want for him. it's been bugging me though. and then today i pull up to work a little bit early and i see lafawnduh the honda. i was freaking out. i walk in and immediately we started talking. we ran back to the conference room and talked about everything. it felt good to let everything out. we are back to normal now. that is the best feeling because we have both missed eachother so much and she finally believes me now. about the whole kevin thing. that means so much. coming from sombody that i really care about. it feels so good to know that after everything that i went through because of his lie, at least i have one thing back in my life. she was always a good friend. i've missed her a lot. all the jokes. all the noises. all the memories. it is good to be able to get back to what we once were. i'm happy. i guess it just takes time. maybe after this...other people will start believing me. i am just tired of the drama. the bullshit. i know what i have done. i know what i haven't done. i have beliefs. i have morals. if people knew me for who i am, they wouldn't even have to second guess the rumors. i'm growing up a lot this summer. it is really good for me. i've realized i can't make everyone happy. i can't control what people think about me. i have learned to deal with rumors. i have learned to deal with loss. i'm really becoming a better person for this. i just hope it continues to go like this...

countdown till ashes returns: 2 days...since it's technically sunday right now.

i love yall. more than you'll ever know.


Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Lifehouse - You and Me

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